Wind is a Finite Resource. Don’t Blow It.

Tea Party Republican Joe Barton’s warning that squandering natural resources might slow winds down has created panic about a possible wind shortage in the future.

Ridding the world of tornadoes and hurricanes might be a blessing and save America billions of dollars a year, but breezes on hot days will be sorely missed. Imagine grandfathers  in the sweltering heat reminiscing: When I was young, you had to hold onto your hat some days. Tell that to the windless generation and they don’t believe you.  Flying kites made a man out of you.

The wholesale destruction of cultural artifacts and allusions is also of extreme concern.   What meaning will be lost forever in movies like Gone With The Wind?  Will the children of a windless world be impoverished by their inability to grasp the subtext of Wind in the Willows?  Will future pacifists look in vain for the answer to “How many times must the cannon balls fly before they’re forever banned?” And what the hell will risk-takers throw caution to?

Because we can’t predict the impact of still air on our planet, the expert advice is to adopt the precautionary principle. Keep burning fossil fuels lest future generations never feel the cool wind in their hair. The only people that could possibly benefit from this are people with comb-overs.

Donald Trump with comb-over in the wind.

Donald Trump with comb-over in the wind.

There is also the danger that the ruling elite will start to monopolise the last remaining air currents, making air currency more valuable than gold, while the poor will be on rations of hot dry air causing widespread doldrums amongst the unemployed.

Wind is a moral issue. Whatever position you take on this, it is important to be guided by independent sources and your own conscience. Don’t just look which way the wind is blowing.

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About Debra O'Brien

Godless pinko feminist with a sense of humour. Blogs about some of the injustices created by our economic system and explores some of the ways we are divided and hoodwinked.
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18 Responses to Wind is a Finite Resource. Don’t Blow It.

  1. Now I’ve heard everything. I wonder if right-wingers like Rep. Barton are really that stupid or if they think we are that stupid. Good grief.

    • Vilnis Schulz says:

      Both alternatives are bad qualities in a congressman. Either way, people who vote for him over and over are dumber than a bag of hammers.

  2. One of the world’s great mysteries. Up there with Stone Henge.

  3. Sorry about this fool getting elected. I would vote against him, but I am not in his district.

    • We won’t hold you responsible then. And no need to apologise; I don’t even live in your country. We have no shortage of fools in the Australian government though. Seems we will run out wind before we run out of idiot politicians.

  4. A wind shortage. Oh great, one more thing to worry about. No shit. It would be too easy and obvious to say this may never be a problem, given the amount of hot air we can count on from, er, windbags like this asshole, wouldn’t it? So consider it unsaid.

    Sigh. I do enjoy laughing at the lies, but sometimes … your face gets sore. And it can be hard to keep laughing when you think of the destruction and suffering all these arrogant, oblivious bastards cause — and take pride in.

    Thanks for a fine post, even if it does make me snarl. These days, what doesn’t? – Linda

  5. Yes, you never know whether to laugh or cry. Well, you want to cry but laughing is a one of our most underrated survival mechanisms, and ridicule one of the many weapons in our armament in the war against injustice and exploitation so sometimes you’ve just gotta laugh. Cheers.

  6. Varuka Salt says:

    If this man were in Florida, I would demand he be Baker acted, and remanded to custody for psychological evaluation as he is obviously delusional and a danger to himself and others.

  7. Frank O'Brien says:

    I think we should wind up this conversation

  8. I have had a lot of fun with this, but I have found the full quote and here it is: “Wind is God’s way of balancing heat. Wind is the way you shift heat from areas where it’s hotter to areas where it’s cooler. That’s what wind is. Wouldn’t it be ironic if in the interest of global warming we mandated massive switches to energy which is a finite resource, which slows the winds down, which causes the temperature to go up? Now, I’m not saying that’s going to happen, Mr. Chairman, but that is definitely something on the massive scale. I mean, it does make some sense. You stop something, you can’t transfer that heat, and the heat goes up. It’s just something to think about.”

    • jim says:

      I saw Wikipedia, which can be a source but not always reliable. Do you know where he made the statement. It didn’t look quite right to me. It looked like an add-
      on or insertion, rather than a flow of information. Just wanting to source back one more notch.

    • Vilnis Schulz says:

      Even within his dumbass hypothesis he gets the basics wrong: Let’s say this “God” guy IS behind wind. Cold air rushes in to displace hot, not the other way around. I’m feeling dumber just talking about this fool.

  9. Pingback: Er det allerede forår? | Dansk Finnjolle Klub

  10. tubularsock says:

    Wow ……….. Tubularsock is just blown away.

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